Becoming Mrs Right...

photo by John and Joseph Photography jkhphoto.com

I came across this picture the other day and it made me reminisce about my wedding. The venue "pinkish" lighting, the spotlights on tables and overall colour theme and decor look quite similar to my wedding except that I had chair covers for mine.

It got me counting down the weeks and days to my 1st wedding anniversary....and as I sit and think about it, sometimes I can't believe that yes... I really am married. (and not just merely married...but happily married) Ahhh it is such a great feeling. :)

My journey to marriage was long...I had to wait for a loooong time for the right guy...And trust me the waiting was horrible, I would be ok with it at times and concentrate on making myself ready, you know doing the whole Proverbs 31 thing, going to singles seminars at church, reading books and listening to all kinds of sermons on how to become the wifey extraordinaire. Then at times I would get frustrated and tired of looking at the horizon for a glimpse of my prince Charming who was nowhere in sight.

After a while I took a look in the mirror and noticed what I think might have been a single grey hair (might have been lack of sleep or a long day at work making me see things of course  :)) but I immediately thought yup I'm ready, God bring the dude over quickly, err like yesterday.
But that wasn't God's plan. I had much more waiting to do and that totally sucked. What made it worse was seeing everyone else around me getting hitched. It was like I lived on the set of Four Weddings or Don't tell the bride. I soon knew those church wedding vows by heart and could have easily conducted the ceremonies myself because I knew the order of service by heart. Kinda sad but true.
There were weddings happening left, right and centre but my role wasn't the one I longed for...but instead I got to merely attend or occasionally be a bridesmaid. Of course I was happy for everyone else but lets just be real here. Three big cheers for everyone else...but I was now feeling that surely it was time for other people to come and bask under the glow of mine great self...and throw a shower for yours truly and watch me waltz down the aisle looking better than Kerry Washington. :)

But the waiting merely continued. And the more I day dreamed about it, the more I wanted it there and then. I fasted, I begged God until I just got to a point where I said ok whenever it happens, it happens. I realised that I had started making marriage an idol, something that my whole life was fixated on.
But as I turned my attention to other things...my job, helping other people in church with this and that, doing Evangelism in church, loving my neighbour and all things good...love knocked on my door and came into my life when I least expected it.... :)
In the end it was all worth it. Yup God brought a fine guy who was more than I had asked and hoped for. And when he proposed and gave me an engagement ring some time after that...it was one of the best days of my life...I literally couldn't sleep. lol

Love is definitely a wonderful thing and it looks like its saturated in the air at the moment.  Whilst on the subject I wanna wish fellow blogger "Blessing" a great time as she gets married soon...
Three of my friends got engaged recently too and four other couples that I know will be getting married in the next three months so yeah, looks like Cupid 's been working overtime.

I have to say though to anyone who's still single, as much as wedding planning is all exciting... I know you're excited about having all your besties in the bridal train in that colour that you've dreamed of forever and you can't wait to get that jaw dropping dress that will have everyone saying Vera who? Don't forget the most important part of the process....yeah in all that hustle and bustle don't overlook preparing for the marriage itself. This is what you'll be left with after all those wine guzzling and chicken eating guests of yours have gone home. :)

Some things which I found useful to do:
1.Talk about your future together and
 - set goals, (long and short term)
 - discuss what you want out of the marriage and your expectations
 - roles of wife and hubby (people have different views on this depending on their background and upbringing...so make sure you are singing from the same song sheet otherwise there will be no sweet music in your home.
 - discuss how you are going to manage your finances, discipline your kids (provided you both want them)
2. And if you are Christians pray together.
My hubby and I did a lot of praying together and planning stuff before we got married and to be honest it has made our marriage very smooth sailing. There aren't any horrible surprises...we know where we are going, we are in agreement and its so cool.
3. We also took time to develop a good friendship before we got married and that surely made a difference because as much as romance and physical attraction is great...you need much more in your marriage if it is to last longer than Kim Kardashian's.
4. The philosophy of no ringy, no thingy... I know some may think that this is more old school than Michael Jackson's "thriller" but God's manual says "don't open your pressies before Christmas". ;-) Enough said!

The picture opposite which I found on the truth about guns site made me laugh and think a bit.
Shotgun weddings are not advisable. (literally and figuratively lol) Don't feel like you have to rush into marriage...marriage is here to stay and I doubt it will be going anywhere anytime soon so if you can please take your time, think it through properly and pray pray pray! I cannot emphasise that enough. By praying you sow deposits that you can draw on later in your marriage.

And when you've done all that you can to prepare for marriage and of course your wedding day...enjoy it and make the most of it because the day goes really quickly. Now I love unique things and always love to push boundaries a bit and I did just that with my wedding, but for crying out loud whatever you do, please do not try this pose at your wedding. Ewwww

Photo courtesy of knot.com

Being Naked...To be or not to be

Photo Frederick M Brown/Getty Images

I love all things girly... you know clothes, shoes, bags, make up, you know the full works. I guess you could say I have that inner diva thing going on. 
I remember saving up big time just before my last visit to the US. Even though we have an array of clothes shops here in England, shopping in the US brings a new element of excitement for me.
I was excited and eager to get to the malls and head to Bloomingdale's, Saks Fifth Avenue, Macy's, JCPenney, Dillard's etc in the hope of landing some great stuff. Glad to say I wasn't disappointed. I returned home with suit cases laden with dresses,  tops, jeans, jewellery and shoes of all colours and shapes.

I appreciate fine clothes on people but as the years have gone by, I have been gobsmacked by the way people have become bolder in their dressing and developed a "flaunt it if you've got it" or "show and shake what your mama gave you" attitude as far as outfits are concerned. 
Yes including some sisters in da Lord...
Now everyone is entitled to their own opinion of course but as far as I am concerned Meagan Good's dress (if we can even call it that) at the BET awards (above) was in my opinion inappropriate for a Preacher's wife and a Christian. 
What kind of message is she giving young people in their church? As for her hubby..some things are meant to be for his eyes only...as a preacher he should keep his wife in check...Preach to your wife brother...as for you Meagan girl...don't get me started now...

Google Images

On the other hand the story about the Kumuyi bride (opposite) from Deeper Life church (Jamaica) who was suspended together with her husband from church swings the modesty thing to the other extreme. Her dress was deemed inappropriate for church standards as it had short chiffon sleeves. Also her wearing of jewellery and apparently lipstick was offending to many. What lipstick? As for the dress, my grandma would probably have worn a more modern dress than the dress she wore. I'm not sure why they said it wasn't modest, it covered everything and a big bag of chips. As for the red lipstick they scolded her for...I can't even see any sign of the offensive red stuff on her lips, I mean c'mon people....I think this is taking things way out proportion.
Now what you do with your clothes is your prerogative but if you say you're a child of God then what you wear is God's business.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that you go out and buy a habit and dress like a nun or wear sack cloths...no way. You can still be trendy and look stunning without making all the men go through red traffic lights whilst staring at you as they drive past...

Here's a few tips I would give for any woman of God to keep in mind when buying or dressing up for work or the odd shin dig.

Photos courtesy L-R: Getty, Pearl River, ImaxTREE

1. Just because some top model wore it on the catwalk doesn't necessarily mean it's right for u to wear it. Some fashion statements should be ignored and I think the "Ghana must go" style opposite is one of them. lol

2. If it looks as tight as the Incredible Hulk's clothes just before they rip...u probably have no business wearing it. #justsaying

3.If the outfit looks like the tailor ran out of material before they finished making it, it probably ain't right for you to wear.

4. If the neckline of your dress or top plunges so much that thine twin peaks and grand canyon can be viewed from anywhere in the world (like Meagan's above) , then maybe sister girl you need to rethink the situation.

5. It may be hard to do the right thing in a world that makes it seem ok to do anything you please, but we can do all things through Christ. #pursueholiness  

I ain't tryna tell you how to dress but I'm telling you to  listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit and you will get a revelation about what's cool to rock as a child of God. We should remember thats it is possible to dress modestly and still look stunning.

Having said that...the sun is out in most places now...go out there and get yourself spruced up for summer. Stripes and Floral are in this season so if you get a top, skirt, dress or bag in those, you will be counted amongst those in the know. :)
A dash of colour is always stunning in summer. Here is my colour of choice...mustard yellow, rocked in the picture by Vogue cover girl, Louis Vuitton model and my fellow country girl Nyasha Matonhodze. U go girl! 
So as we dress in our summer outfits...remember if you dress like a lady, more often than not, you will be treated like a lady. 
So ladies lets go out there and stun 'em :)

Elie Saab 2012