Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Becoming Mrs Right...



photo by John and Joseph Photography jkhphoto.com
I came across this picture the other day and it made me reminisce about my wedding. The venue "pinkish" lighting, the spotlights on tables and overall colour theme and decor look quite similar to my wedding except that I had chair covers for mine.

It got me counting down the weeks and days to my 1st wedding anniversary....and as I sit and think about it, sometimes I can't believe that yes... I really am married. (and not just merely married...but happily married) Ahhh it is such a great feeling. :)

My journey to marriage was long...I had to wait for a loooong time for the right guy...And trust me the waiting was horrible, I would be ok with it at times and concentrate on making myself ready, you know doing the whole Proverbs 31 thing, going to singles seminars at church, reading books and listening to all kinds of sermons on how to become the wifey extraordinaire. Then at times I would get frustrated and tired of looking at the horizon for a glimpse of my prince Charming who was nowhere in sight.

After a while I took a look in the mirror and noticed what I think might have been a single grey hair (might have been lack of sleep or a long day at work making me see things of course  :)) but I immediately thought yup I'm ready, God bring the dude over quickly, err like yesterday.
But that wasn't God's plan. I had much more waiting to do and that totally sucked. What made it worse was seeing everyone else around me getting hitched. It was like I lived on the set of Four Weddings or Don't tell the bride. I soon knew those church wedding vows by heart and could have easily conducted the ceremonies myself because I knew the order of service by heart. Kinda sad but true.
There were weddings happening left, right and centre but my role wasn't the one I longed for...but instead I got to merely attend or occasionally be a bridesmaid. Of course I was happy for everyone else but lets just be real here. Three big cheers for everyone else...but I was now feeling that surely it was time for other people to come and bask under the glow of mine great self...and throw a shower for yours truly and watch me waltz down the aisle looking better than Kerry Washington. :)

But the waiting merely continued. And the more I day dreamed about it, the more I wanted it there and then. I fasted, I begged God until I just got to a point where I said ok whenever it happens, it happens. I realised that I had started making marriage an idol, something that my whole life was fixated on.
But as I turned my attention to other things...my job, helping other people in church with this and that, doing Evangelism in church, loving my neighbour and all things good...love knocked on my door and came into my life when I least expected it.... :)
In the end it was all worth it. Yup God brought a fine guy who was more than I had asked and hoped for. And when he proposed and gave me an engagement ring some time after that...it was one of the best days of my life...I literally couldn't sleep. lol

Love is definitely a wonderful thing and it looks like its saturated in the air at the moment.  Whilst on the subject I wanna wish fellow blogger "Blessing" a great time as she gets married soon...
Three of my friends got engaged recently too and four other couples that I know will be getting married in the next three months so yeah, looks like Cupid 's been working overtime.

I have to say though to anyone who's still single, as much as wedding planning is all exciting... I know you're excited about having all your besties in the bridal train in that colour that you've dreamed of forever and you can't wait to get that jaw dropping dress that will have everyone saying Vera who? Don't forget the most important part of the process....yeah in all that hustle and bustle don't overlook preparing for the marriage itself. This is what you'll be left with after all those wine guzzling and chicken eating guests of yours have gone home. :)

Some things which I found useful to do:
1.Talk about your future together and
 - set goals, (long and short term)
 - discuss what you want out of the marriage and your expectations
 - roles of wife and hubby (people have different views on this depending on their background and upbringing...so make sure you are singing from the same song sheet otherwise there will be no sweet music in your home.
 - discuss how you are going to manage your finances, discipline your kids (provided you both want them)
2. And if you are Christians pray together.
My hubby and I did a lot of praying together and planning stuff before we got married and to be honest it has made our marriage very smooth sailing. There aren't any horrible surprises...we know where we are going, we are in agreement and its so cool.
3. We also took time to develop a good friendship before we got married and that surely made a difference because as much as romance and physical attraction is great...you need much more in your marriage if it is to last longer than Kim Kardashian's.
4. The philosophy of no ringy, no thingy... I know some may think that this is more old school than Michael Jackson's "thriller" but God's manual says "don't open your pressies before Christmas". ;-) Enough said!

The picture opposite which I found on the truth about guns site made me laugh and think a bit.
Shotgun weddings are not advisable. (literally and figuratively lol) Don't feel like you have to rush into marriage...marriage is here to stay and I doubt it will be going anywhere anytime soon so if you can please take your time, think it through properly and pray pray pray! I cannot emphasise that enough. By praying you sow deposits that you can draw on later in your marriage.

And when you've done all that you can to prepare for marriage and of course your wedding day...enjoy it and make the most of it because the day goes really quickly. Now I love unique things and always love to push boundaries a bit and I did just that with my wedding, but for crying out loud whatever you do, please do not try this pose at your wedding. Ewwww
Photo courtesy of knot.com

14 comments:

  1. hello gospelgirl! New to you blog and i must confess that i'm totally loving it. First, My congratulations to you on getting married to the love of your life....better to marry "late" to the right person than get married 'early" for the sake of it and be miserable for the rest of your life.Marriage transcends the ceremony and asoebi of that day, ceremony will pass but you are in it for the long haul. and i absolutely agree with the useful points you made....nothings beats praying together, the Bible says that when two or more are gathered in his name, he is there. If you pray together, he will definitely be present in your marriage. Oh...and of course the plans...best to make plans together and start before marriage, especially for finances and duties cos both are most likely to cause problems in marriage.Beautiful Piece!! New to marriage as well..2yrs and 5months (I still think it was yesterday) and absolutely loving every bit of it. www.intheeyesoftruth.blogspot.com

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  2. Thanks, nice to hear that you are enjoying the blog.
    Glad to hear that your marriage is going great too...so refreshing to hear that in a world were marriages are breaking down so much and people are looking down on marriage in general.
    Wishing you all the best. :)

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  3. Thanks for sharing this. It is really encouraging and inspiring.

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    1. I'm glad you found it inspiring. :)

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  4. Hmmm, I'm glad your dreams became reality. I am still waiting...

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    1. I'm sure your turn will come very soon...keep holding on gal. :)

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  5. Thankx for sharing GG.
    I know marriage is to be enjoyed and all. And I look forward to having a lovely one,but I get scared sha..

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    1. If you prepare for marriage well, and you love and respect each other and always commit yourselves to praying for your marriage, I'm sure you will be ok, infact it will be awesome :)

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  6. "Making marriage an idol" -- wow! That is such a powerful line, and something that I actually have been drafting a post on. Thank you for your wonderful testimony as I've passed it on to a few of my friends -- all twenty-somethings wanting marriage more than anything in the world. Not that there is anything wrong with that - but it's posts like this.. real talk that can help give insight on it and bring relief about it. Thanks for sharing!

    PS | I just posted a new post where I shared my most embarrassing moments! I'm tagging you! Perhaps you'd want to do a post and tag some other people or want to leave a comment on my post! Can't wait to read it!

    XO | KIMBERLYLUXE

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  7. Oh! And tweeted this article over on @femmeswbenefits , now following your blog.

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  8. Stumbled across your blog through another avid writer.....absolutely enjoyed this post reminded me of the havoc of excitment before the day of my wedding too lol at shot gun wedding photo.

    I think you have captured the essence of what a union is all about, the foundation of a firm solid friendship add a dash of communication and its a winning formula.

    Congrats to you and keep the communication channels open in your marriage sounds great!

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  9. Thanks for the little nuggets ! and you practically created a picture of your day in my head with your story telling :)
    Grateful for you and your Mr.

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  10. Very enlightening article for those that are thinking of taking the plunge into marriage. Thanks for being real about your experience. When marriage is done well, it can be one of the most fulfilling relations on earth, after one's relationship with God. A lot of people spend time waiting for Mr or Miss Right, instead of working on themselves first to be the right person for someone.

    I'm glad you are enjoying your marriage. A good marriage can make life so blissful, and God designed marriage to be blissful, just that human beings and their foibles messed up the institution of marriage. However, when we entrust our relationship to God, He makes it beautiful. By September, I'd have been married for 11years, and it has been fun all the way. The challenges have been there, but those challenges are meant to make, not break us. Without challenges, you would not need God. Thanks for this article.

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  11. Wow. I'm in that phase where I'm like whatever happens happens. This is really lifting.

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