|photo by John and Joseph Photography jkhphoto.com|
It got me counting down the weeks and days to my 1st wedding anniversary....and as I sit and think about it, sometimes I can't believe that yes... I really am married. (and not just merely married...but happily married) Ahhh it is such a great feeling. :)
My journey to marriage was long...I had to wait for a loooong time for the right guy...And trust me the waiting was horrible, I would be ok with it at times and concentrate on making myself ready, you know doing the whole Proverbs 31 thing, going to singles seminars at church, reading books and listening to all kinds of sermons on how to become the wifey extraordinaire. Then at times I would get frustrated and tired of looking at the horizon for a glimpse of my prince Charming who was nowhere in sight.
After a while I took a look in the mirror and noticed what I think might have been a single grey hair (might have been lack of sleep or a long day at work making me see things of course :)) but I immediately thought yup I'm ready, God bring the dude over quickly, err like yesterday.
But that wasn't God's plan. I had much more waiting to do and that totally sucked. What made it worse was seeing everyone else around me getting hitched. It was like I lived on the set of Four Weddings or Don't tell the bride. I soon knew those church wedding vows by heart and could have easily conducted the ceremonies myself because I knew the order of service by heart. Kinda sad but true.
There were weddings happening left, right and centre but my role wasn't the one I longed for...but instead I got to merely attend or occasionally be a bridesmaid. Of course I was happy for everyone else but lets just be real here. Three big cheers for everyone else...but I was now feeling that surely it was time for other people to come and bask under the glow of mine great self...and throw a shower for yours truly and watch me waltz down the aisle looking better than Kerry Washington. :)
But the waiting merely continued. And the more I day dreamed about it, the more I wanted it there and then. I fasted, I begged God until I just got to a point where I said ok whenever it happens, it happens. I realised that I had started making marriage an idol, something that my whole life was fixated on.
But as I turned my attention to other things...my job, helping other people in church with this and that, doing Evangelism in church, loving my neighbour and all things good...love knocked on my door and came into my life when I least expected it.... :)
In the end it was all worth it. Yup God brought a fine guy who was more than I had asked and hoped for. And when he proposed and gave me an engagement ring some time after that...it was one of the best days of my life...I literally couldn't sleep. lol
Love is definitely a wonderful thing and it looks like its saturated in the air at the moment. Whilst on the subject I wanna wish fellow blogger "Blessing" a great time as she gets married soon...
Three of my friends got engaged recently too and four other couples that I know will be getting married in the next three months so yeah, looks like Cupid 's been working overtime.
I have to say though to anyone who's still single, as much as wedding planning is all exciting... I know you're excited about having all your besties in the bridal train in that colour that you've dreamed of forever and you can't wait to get that jaw dropping dress that will have everyone saying Vera who? Don't forget the most important part of the process....yeah in all that hustle and bustle don't overlook preparing for the marriage itself. This is what you'll be left with after all those wine guzzling and chicken eating guests of yours have gone home. :)
Some things which I found useful to do:
1.Talk about your future together and
- set goals, (long and short term)
- discuss what you want out of the marriage and your expectations
- roles of wife and hubby (people have different views on this depending on their background and upbringing...so make sure you are singing from the same song sheet otherwise there will be no sweet music in your home.
- discuss how you are going to manage your finances, discipline your kids (provided you both want them)
2. And if you are Christians pray together.
My hubby and I did a lot of praying together and planning stuff before we got married and to be honest it has made our marriage very smooth sailing. There aren't any horrible surprises...we know where we are going, we are in agreement and its so cool.
3. We also took time to develop a good friendship before we got married and that surely made a difference because as much as romance and physical attraction is great...you need much more in your marriage if it is to last longer than Kim Kardashian's.
4. The philosophy of no ringy, no thingy... I know some may think that this is more old school than Michael Jackson's "thriller" but God's manual says "don't open your pressies before Christmas". ;-) Enough said!
The picture opposite which I found on the truth about guns site made me laugh and think a bit.
Shotgun weddings are not advisable. (literally and figuratively lol) Don't feel like you have to rush into marriage...marriage is here to stay and I doubt it will be going anywhere anytime soon so if you can please take your time, think it through properly and pray pray pray! I cannot emphasise that enough. By praying you sow deposits that you can draw on later in your marriage.
And when you've done all that you can to prepare for marriage and of course your wedding day...enjoy it and make the most of it because the day goes really quickly. Now I love unique things and always love to push boundaries a bit and I did just that with my wedding, but for crying out loud whatever you do, please do not try this pose at your wedding. Ewwww
|Photo courtesy of knot.com|