Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Dear Wife...I am leaving YOU!!!

Dear Wife

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years but I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... And then your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today...ughhh that was the last straw!

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, I had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate quickly in just 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, Later for you....I’m gone!

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. In the hellish 7 years that we have been married, a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone...and all I found was your lousy letter.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. By the way, I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was actually born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.


Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

I don't know who the author of these letters is and I don't know if this is a true story or a mere joke...but it got me thinking... communication is very important in marriage. If this couple had talked about some of the issues that were brewing...could their problem and eventual separation have been avoided? Who knows? If issues continue to simmer in our minds and hearts for very long and are not dealt some point we will snap. Lets deal with things and speak the truth in love... Eph 4:15
Lets remember to keep the communication lines open with our spouses, partners, family, friends, church etc As we do so, I pray and hope that we will have healthier relationships and enjoy the higher life.



  1. Looool. So funny. What a loss to the man.

  2. Quite hilarious! i can imagine the look on the man's face after reading.. "By the way, I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was actually born Carl." Priceless !

  3. Very funny, and so true about communication.

  4. Communication is the livewire of every relationship. Without that, the relationship is as good as dead. This may be fictitious, but it sure drives home the point.

  5. very funny !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Oh daze! Poor guy. Well he messed up big time


You May Also Like

Related Posts with Thumbnails