Sunday 16 January 2011

The 10 Commandments to Keeping Your Man Happy



Hey peeps, hope you've all had a great week. Mine's been great, I managed to get myself in the gym after what seems like a life time, so hopefully I will be seeing the results of my continued efforts soon.
Ladies, I hope those of you with a "Mr in the Vicinity" have been getting lots of pampering from the men as they've been putting those commandments into action. Well, I think it's about time we returned the favour....

I'm sure by the time the ladies are through with their ten commandments and the guys with their ten, love will be sizzling : renewal of wedding vows, candlelight dinners and engagements rings, cupid working overtime....divorce lawyers will be out of business soon and guys will be poppin the question faster than the Reverends can get them all married. To all ma Singletons, this will be your year.... :)

And here they are: *smiling*


1. Thou shall watch football, baseball, boxing or whatever sport tickles your man's fancy. You will not complain when he begins to exhibit  weird behaviour such as *pointing at the screen wildly, calling out at the screen and jumping up suddenly through out the game*
You also have to memorise the names of every member of his favourite team and manager plus their stats.

2. Thou shall cook his favourite meal thrice a week sorry I mean, everyday of the week except Sunday when you will order his favourite take away.

3. You will keep your hands off the remote and surrender all your "soap watching rights" so that he can
watch Top Gear, Discovery Channel and Match of the Day.

4. You shall never, ever expect him to help with the cooking, washing, ironing or anything that remotely resembles a chore. If you have any mini me's, you will undertake to always do the homework with them, change diapers, take out the trash and so on.
 
5. You will entertain him and his friends when they come round to play on the PS3 Move, Nintendo Wii or X-Box Kinect, making sure their bellies are "full and begging for mercy", glasses never going below half, loud music playing in the background.

6. You should notice and comment on how big his muscles are developing after a few days at the gym because they will obviously be bigger and more developed than Van Diesel. And that isn't a pot belly you see...no it's part of his 7 pack.

7. You will always hold your tongue in the car when he is driving and never say I told you so after you get lost because he didn't listen to your directions. You will also not laugh or tell him off when he and another man in the car next to yours at the traffic lights, decide to test the strengths of their engines like it's formula racing.

8. You will steer well clear of his wallet. His credit cards are not yours, his cheque book is also not yours. And his money doesn't have your name on it. His money has other purposes other than your Jimmy Choo shoes and Prada bags.
9. You shall refrain from schooling your man about the toliet seat. Cut the man some slack, he can't be expected to remember to put it up before use, then put it back down. I mean c'mon.

10. Thou shall cheerfully pick up after him (yes the socks, the shirts, magazines, cups and other bibs and bobs) without a single word of complaining or mumbling. Infact you shall hum his favourite songs as you pick up his trail of stuff.

And if that doesn't work, then I don't know what will. Now Feminstas take a chill, before the lobbying and protesting starts, remember this is all done in the name of fun and games. :)

Have a lovely week and may you love and be loved this year. xoxo

                                                                 © 2011 Gospel Girl

15 comments:

  1. I love this!! I had to learn no 1 the hard way back in the day. But I know there is a flip-side to it all...could be your next blogpost!! xx

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  2. Glad you liked it. :)
    I have already done the flip side to the commandments, it was in the previous post before this one...lol

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  3. bahahahaha..i agree with some of these things lol.

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  4. Amen at this being our year!!! *wink, wink*

    Love the list but my own husband must help with the chores o (IJN) and the money is OURS...we will be one! he he he

    Have a fab week darling

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  5. @Chizzy, I'm glad you concur...

    @Blessing, thou shall have to sort that one out with your hubby...I'm out of it...lol
    Have a great week too hun.

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  6. HAhahahhahaaa....this is not fair o!....haba! BUT SO TRUE!...did i hear you say 'candle-light dinner?'..my sistah, nah for only romance novel that one dey happen becox for 9ja, nah eatery or pepper soup joint!...ha! keep divorce lawyers out of work?..hmm...my dear, when they begin to sue you for pouring san-san, inside their garri, you would be on your on big time o!..*laughing*....MEN?!

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  7. AAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEENNNN! Gospel Girl, wait, are you married ma? lol
    If not, I wonder where these came from o. lol

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  8. @NG Thanx for your comment.
    lol...@ peppery soup joint, does that really exist?lol

    @LDP No, I aint married yet...but you know what as I've been waiting on God He has been revealing to me the secret things ooo....thats how I know all these things...he he he.
    I guess I've just seen most of this stuff with family and married friends...
    I'm glad you like. :)

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  9. awwww, thanks for taking out time to share these commandments with your sisters...

    i appreciate and hopefully i will remember(wink)

    hv a blessed week hun and thanks for this tips, will deffo come handy in the nearest future,lol

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  10. Btw, I've tagged you for the Stylish and Versatile award.
    Please visit my blog to know what you are expected to do!
    xoxoxoxo

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  11. you totally had fun doing this.. lol.. i think you were harder on the ladies than the guys..
    cheers..

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  12. Peeps it's silly that I even have to say this bcoz I thought it was obvious, but anyway I got a msg from someone that baffled me and hence I feel the need to explain. Pls don't take the commandments too seriously. It's all for laughs coz some people wanna act like I'm proposing that they should become their man's puppet...no no no! Lighten up, that was never the intention of the post...it's merely entertainment...eeish SHM!
    It's good to have a laugh sometimes
    ...gee...LOL

    @Rainjoy U're welcome hun. Have a lovely week!
    @Blessing Thanx hun, will check that out.
    @oluSimeon Yeah it was fun. Maybe I was hard on the girls but hey it's all in the name of fun innit?lol

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  13. Honestly, I think it's very sassy, fun and I find it rather exciting. Thanks for sharing and will be keeping them in mind since I am not in a relationship for now :-)

    blessings,
    Enyonam

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  14. Hiya, I've tagged you for the Stylish and Versatile Blog Award. Pls Visit my blog and find out what you are to do.

    ReplyDelete
  15. LOL...very hilarious...you find out that after spending years with your husband, they are no longer commandments but things that come to you naturally...

    Like your blog.

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