Monday, 6 September 2010

Stealing candy from a baby...

Jasper loved stealing.

An apple here, an orange there. Then later a Nokia phone here, an ipod there.

When Jasper was younger his mum had always warned him about his new found habit.
His grandma had also taught him the commandment "Thou shalt not steal."
But Jasper had never paid any attention to them as a child and now as a grown man, he was set in his ways.

There was no changing his mind about stealing.
After all it had taken many years and hard "work" to perfect his art. He was no ordinary thief.
He was the Thief Extraordinaire...

Until one day when he decided to help himself to the offering basket at the Blessed Believers Church.

Zam Zam couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't easy being a wasp when you couldn't sting.
Even her own mother was beginning to lose faith in her. Her friends were beginning to talk about her. After all who would want to hang out with a wasp that was useless at stinging? Wasn't it their job to defend the colony?
Zam Zam knew what she was called to do. She was one of the Hundred Defending Wasps but she didn't want to inflict pain on anyone...
She was just too kind...

But one day the taunting became too much for her.
She was minding her own business when she overheard two of her friends talking as they ate some fruit and nectar on a tree branch.
"Here comes the wasp with an attitude.." the slim wasp said to the chubby one.
She pretended not to hear them.
"Miss Think She's Too Good To Do Her Job. I'll bet she won't ever find a mate. I mean who would want a woman who isn't all woman... What's a lady wasp without her sting?" the chubby one said with a sneer.
They laughed.
Zam fought back the tears. It was all too much to bear. Rejection by her family and friends. Why didn't they understand how she felt?
She flew past them in a huff knocking over the leaf filled with the nectar which the two were enjoying.
"Hey watch it!" the chubby one called, mouth full, waving its leg.
Zam didn't care. She just wanted to get as far away from the colony as possible. She flew off, not sure where she was going.


Jasper clad in his only grey suit sat in the back row, so as not to arouse any suspicions. 
Half an hour after the service started, it was time for the offering.

"Give and it will come back to you," the choir members sang heartily.
"Fools," Jasper thought to himself, "Today you're giving to me and it certainly ain't coming back to y'all."

As the basket was being passed round, Jasper smiled and pretended to sing along, clapping his hands out of rhythm.

Then the basket got to him. He pretended to put something and then dropped the basket on the floor.
"So sorry" he called to the usher at the end of the aisle, "I'll pick it all up for you."

Faster than lightning, Jasper stuffed several £20 notes and several offering envelopes into his pocket. As he was about to get up from the floor where he was pretending to rummage for lost coins and notes, he saw another twenty wedged deep in the basket. He grinned. He had to have that one as well.

He shoved his hand right to the bottom where he could see the twenty pound note sticking out...
It was then that he felt it.
It was the sharpest pain he had ever experienced in his life.

"Ouch!" he shouted and everyone turned and stared.

Unbeknown to everyone deep within the offering basket sat Zam Zam, who had been relaxing after her long flight from home. She had seen Jasper's hand come towards her and fearing for her own life she had stung the young man using her ovipositor to release the venom.

"Owww help me, someone help me," Jasper cried as he pranced about scratching himself furiously. His face began to swell and go beetroot red.
"Oh my gosh, what's happening to him?"
"Something stung me and I think I'm having going into anaphylaptic shock. Help me, please!"
"Calm down sir, we've called an ambulance," a young usher told him.

As he jumped around all the offering envelopes and money began to fall out of his pockets.
"What's going on here?" "I don't believe this!"some of the church congregants exclaimed.

Everyone looked in amazement and as the reality of what had taken place began to dawn on everyone, the looks on their faces began to change. This man had tried to take from them. He deserved some form of punishment.

But they didn't have to worry about punishing him, because the Lord who works in mysterious ways had already done it on their behalf.



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